Jenn and I went out to dinner last night with Jenn’s friend Derek. During the conversation that ensued, I realized my life is pretty pathetic. It went something like this:

Jenn: Man, tomorrow’s Friday. Do we have any plans?

Travis: Not really. It’ll be nice to rest, though. I don’t feel like I get enough rest.

Derek: I know what you mean. What do you think you’ll want to do?

Travis: I dunno. Probably sit on my ass.

Derek: I love sitting on my ass.

Travis: Exactly. But… you know, I sit on my ass all day long, too.

Derek: Right. A hard day of sitting on my ass prompts me to hurry home…

Jenn: …so you can sit on your ass some more.

Travis: Wow. You know, I never realized it, but I’m really pathetic.

And it’s true. I sit all day long. Why do I feel so tired when I get home? I suppose you could chalk it up to stress and mental exercise, but you come tell that to this donut-like non-ab that I have surrounding my waist.

I borrowed my dad’s Ab Slide specifically for this reason - I need to remove the non-ab that has fastened itself to my frontal region. I’ve been using it fairly regularly (which is more than Dad could say), but I still have quite the lack of any muscle definition going on.

See, I have a problem with exercise: IT’S BORING.

Not just a little boring, a lot boring. Boring like watching the movie Gandhi. Plus I have flat feet and reasonably bad allergies, all of which point to not being able to really do much outside. I like swimming, but there’s no pool very close and I refuse to pay monthly to join a gym for such things.

Basically, I’ve come up with very few methods of physical activity that provide any feelings of positivity within me. I like swimming, bowling, roller skating, and riding bikes. That’s about it. So… Ab Slide.

Maybe liposuction.

I really wish those stupid electronic muscle stimulation machines worked. I’m so lazy.