We have beverage dispensing machines here at work allowing us to freely partake in carbonated caffeinated goodness on a whim. I don’t drink as much as I used to because, frankly, I’m getting fucking fat and I don’t need the extra calories. That said, I really don’t like diet beverages either. They’re just not the same.

Either way, I got myself a little bit of Diet Coke a second ago.

Now, when you get stuff out of the dispenser, the drink usually produces a bit of foam on top that dies down to reveal that you didn’t fill the cup up as much as you thought you did. Mountain Dew foam is very light green. Root beer foam is a white/brown color.

Diet Coke foam is this shitty dank brown color.

For some reason, that doesn’t really entice me to drink up, as it were. Mmmmm. Just one calorie.