I went to the bead store on Saturday. At least, I think it was Saturday. Honestly, I don’t remember. The time really wasn’t important, though - the thing I’m going for here is that at some point over the course of this past weekend, I was at the bead store.

(I’m working on this project at home involving a hat, some beads, and some tassels, and I wanted to look around and see what sort of shit I could throw into this thing.)

Now, before I went to the bead store, which, might I add, is in that “liberal” part of town where the hippies still grow and thrive, I called ahead to verify they were open. The voice that answered the phone sounded more like that electronic voice phenomena thing than a human - sort of waify and weak.

EVP Girl: …yeah, hi, Beads Forever… Me: Hi, can you tell me your hours today? EVP Girl: …I’m… uh… open… ten to six today… eleven to six tomorrow… Me: Riiiiiight.

So I get to the bead store (“Beads Forever”) around 11:00.

How come chicks with dreadlocks always work at the bead store? Is wearing hemp a requirement?

I also noticed that there was a French remake of the theme from Shaft playing in the background. How surreal is that?

Anyway, I looked around, picked a couple of things up, and then proceeded to wait for 20 minutes while another bead shopper checked out and shopped at the same time. Have you ever seen those movies or TV shows where the person who already owns too many clothes just leaves their credit card with the salesperson and as they’re trying on clothes calls out “Ring it up!” from the dressing room? That’s what was happening here. As fast as the clerk could count these beads and/or weigh them and ring them up, this lady shopper would go and come back with more beads to buy. I had like two things. One would think I could slip in and leave. But, no. Gotta wait for the Beadinator to check out.

And then, just as abruptly as I had entered their world, I left. It was sort of like…

…entering another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind.

It was The Bead Store Zone.