I’ve got these neighbors that own these two gigantic boat/cars. The cars themselves are what lots of people would call “classics” but I consider them more accurately “road hazards” since they are piloted by people who can’t walk across the parking lot unassisted. Not only that, but I’m sure they get all of 10 miles to the gallon on the freeway.

Anyway, due to the inability of the drivers to navigate their way on foot across the parking lot, I come home all the time to find things like this going on:

What? What is this going on here? Look closely, and you can see it - the red curb marked “No Parking” that the car is parked along. For those not in the know, this is called the “fire lane.” It’s there in case we have a fire so the fire department can get to the apartment complex.

Let’s get a closer look, shall we?

That’s what I thought. Old people who shouldn’t be driving, parking illegally for hours at a time and risking the safety of my apartment. Not to mention the car is so big that with them parked there, you can barely get in and out of the reserved tenant parking spots the car is parked behind. Of course, mine is one of those blocked spots. A simple 30-point maneuver later, and you can mostly park.

I think it’s time to have some cars towed. I hate old people.