My last day in San Andreas was probably my most eventful. I won’t bore you with too much detail, but I did some cross-country racing; lost my girlfriend, Catalina, to a mute dude headed to Liberty City; destroyed a huge crop of weed and, once the cops came, a police helicopter; drove around San Fierro (one of the major cities in San Andreas); framed the San Fierro DA for drug possession (won’t be seeing any more of him, will we?); and took a few photos of some very suspect individuals in an attempt to figure out who my lame ex-friends, Ryder and Big Smoke, are working with.

It may not sound like a lot, but it was. Much of this activity took me all across the countryside, particularly in the Badlands, in the southwest quadrant of San Andreas, and that’s some real rural stuff.

I did take the time to participate in a defensive driving school, where they taught me useful skills like how to do cookies, control a car after running over a police spike strip, and execute a PIT maneuver. All things I’ll definitely use back home.

I also took the time to drive some very popular women around town. They’d get calls from people named “John” (there are a lot of people named John in San Andreas!), and I’d drive them all over to meet these Johns. Then they’d finish talking (or whatever) with these gentlemen and I’d go pick them up and take them to see another friend. Each time I’d pick them up, they’d give me quite a large sum of money. Not too shabby for a glorified taxi driver, right?

San Andreas has taught me all sorts of useful skills during my stay. I’ve learned new vocabulary, driving skills, shooting skills, and even some new ways to positively influence the ladies, if you know what I mean. I’ve also decided that I’m definitely in the wrong line of work back home because there is so much more money to be easily made doing other, possibly less legal, things. I’ve probably made half a million dollars over the course of my stay. Tax free, no less.

In all seriousness, though, my stay in San Andreas was great fun. I’ve only seen about 2/3 of the place, so I’ll definitely be coming back for more, just not during such an extended stay like this one.

One thing to note - I never saw any kids while walking/biking/driving the streets of San Andreas, and I think that’s because kids aren’t (and shouldn’t be) allowed to visit. It’s a lot more harsh than I remember my visit to Vice City being, and Vice City wasn’t a child’s destination, either. So, mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be gangsters. Or something like that.

In summary: Great place to visit (I’ll be coming back! Soon!), but, as usual, wouldn’t want to live there.