It’s 7:00p, and after a long day at work, Jenn and I decide it’s time to go get something to eat. Pizza sounds good, so we head to the local Schmizza to get a couple of slices.

Jenn gets a slice of “Sch’meat’za” (an all-meat special), an order of breadsticks, and a small drink. I think the “No Kiss Tonite” (garlic chicken, alfredo, feta, and red onion) sounds good, so I get that, a “Genoa” (another all-meat special), and a small drink.

The mood is relaxed as we eat our pizza, watch a little Nickelodeon on the TVs hanging around the place, and talk about our recent debacle making wedding invitations. (No, the invitations aren’t going quite as smoothly - or as cheaply - as I’d like, but I think we’ve got the details ironed out now, so it’s time to jump in and make them. But I digress.)

The pizza is finished and it’s time to pack up and go. Jenn has some breadsticks left over, so she gets up to get a box to take the remainder home in. It’s a bus-your-own-table kind of joint, so while she does that, I take the plates over to the garbage can.

I scrape the plates off into the trash, then put the plates and silverware into the box sitting on top of the trash. I pick my cup up and decide that, before we go, I should top it off with some soda so I can take that in the car with me.

I take a drink of soda as I head toward the dispenser and look over to see how Jenn’s doing. Looks like she’s loaded up her breadsticks and is waiting. The breadstick box is on the table, her drink is on the table, my drink is on the table…

My drink is on the table.

Hang on, my drink is on the table.

Then what’s this drink in my hand?

No.

No, no, no.

Nonononononononononononono.

Please don’t tell me I just picked this drink up off the top of the garbage can and started drinking it.

But I did. I’m drinking some random drink. From on top of the garbage can.

I think I’m going to be sick.

“Jenn, we need to go home now. I have to Listerine and brush my teeth.”