Screw that whole “Stairway to Heaven” thing, man. It’s all about Ozzy’s “No More Tears.”

Bought a 32” TV from a friend of mine at work and, with help from another friend, got it up the stairs into my game room. (I seem to be doing a lot of television related operations lately, don’t I?) Went to the store after work and, with the measurements of the TV from the TV’s manual, I picked out an entertainment center (corner unit) to put the thing on because the one we already had in the game room wasn’t big enough (or weight-bearing enough).

It’s pretty cool. It’s got the base with a couple of shelves under it that you can put components on, then a couple of shelves that sit above the TV you can put CDs or whatever on. The box said “fits most 32-inch TVs,” which is what I bought, and the measurements were right. Fine.

Got the thing home, put it together, and, with Jenn’s help got the TV up there.

TOO SMALL. Well, technically the right size, but the TV’s more front-heavy than anything and was sitting there sort of precariously. If the cat jumped on it, it’d all be over.

Well, can’t take it back now, and I don’t have anywhere else to put the TV, so….

…unscrew the top part (with the shelves and the CD rack and all that) so we can push the TV back a bit (so the back of the TV hangs over the back of the stand) and… presto! Sits perfectly.

Of course, now I’ve got the top half of a corner entertainment unit that I have no idea what to do with.

But it looks great!

Lots to try and get done this weekend. I want to adjust my awning so the motor doesn’t try to over-extend the awning when it rolls out. I also want to get the cord mounted so we can just leave it plugged in.

I had a dream last night that I was in this Disneyland-style theme park and had lost my ushanka. There were all sorts of them on the ground, there were vendors selling them… but none of them were mine. I went to the lost and found, right near the skee-ball game, but they didn’t have my hat, either. Never did find it again.

Someone needs to make a combination of the Powerball Gyroscope and a thumb-twiddler. An electronic thumb-twiddler, sort of. You could have it twiddle your thumbs for you. There could be a web site where people post their TPM (twiddles-per-minute) measurements. “Hey, check this out - I can twiddle my thumbs at 11,000 times per minute!” Work meetings would take on a whole new dimension. There’d be a constant subtle hum as everyone in the room worked on their twiddle rankings.

A revolution, I tell you!

Well, the TV repair shop called again. They still don’t see what I’m talking about. No problems over there.

I’m going in today at noon to check it out and verify with my own eyes that this thing isn’t messed up. I’ll stop by home to get my test DVD to see, once and for all, if it’s just environmental.

If it’s environmental, honestly, I have no idea what I’ll do. I guess I’ll have to sell it or something and get some TV that’s not affected by “my environment.” Or I’ll have to do a load of experiments to see if I can determine what the environmental effect is. I have no freaking clue. If it’s seriously not reproducible, basically, I’m hosed.

Anyone interested in a 40” Sony TV?

I went down to Sharper Video (the TV repair shop) at noon to verify with my own eyes that the problems I was seeing aren’t there anymore. I took my test DVD along with me.

All that shit is so right there. 100% reproducible.

I pointed it out to Terry (the repairman on the case) and then he finally saw it. With a moving picture on there it’s harder to tell; but when you get something like a commercial where it’s all white background with just the company logo or something like that, BAM! there it is.

Then Terry ran some of his own tests and, sure enough, it’s there. Apparently he wasn’t the one that proclaimed irreproducibility, just the one who was showing me what’s going on.

I don’t know what the next steps are, though, and neither does Terry. He says that it’s a combination of several parts that do what the set is doing and just replacing the tube isn’t going to fix it. He’s going to call Sony to see what they say. If Sony says the TV is still within factory spec (even with the image defect), I’m hosed, because that’s the best it’ll get (even though that’s not how it was when I bought it). However, if it’s not within factory spec and Sony can’t provide a way to fix it… well, then I’m also hosed because I’m going to have to fight the warranty company for a new TV.

Terry showed me that at this point the best they can do is try to adjust the picture with various pincushion and other adjustments to make the picture as good as possible, but every time they adjust one thing, something else goes out of whack. They don’t have the equipment to “refocus” it (or whatever the TV-tech-speak term for “refocusing the TV” is) at the repair shop; apparently Sony does that at the factory with some serious computer-controlled equipment.

In all honesty, I’d just as soon have a new TV and not hassle with this. I’d even be willing to settle for a check (or store credit at an electronics store) for the same amount of money that NEW authorized the repair for. I’ll get one of those DLP sets. I guess we’ll see.

Even though it’s not fixed, I felt pretty good going down there and seeing that I wasn’t just crazy - the problem really is there, and it’s not “environmental.”

I was so stoked (again, not pleased that it’s not fixed, but pleased that it’s reproducible and is something they can now aim to fix) that I went to Target and bought myself a copy of Elektra. While I was there, I saw that 13 Going On 30 (another Jennifer Garner movie) was only $10, so I picked that up, too. Oh, and Star Wars Episode III figures were only $5 so I got Yoda (with “spinning attack” action) and R2-D2 (with “droid attack” action). (I get the Yoda figure from every movie. I just dig Yoda. But I didn’t have R2, and I needed him to fly in my Millennium Falcon, didn’t I?)

The TV repair shop just called me and they say they’ve been playing the set for four days now and haven’t seen the problems I’ve been talking about. No distortions, no color changes, no nothing.

They can’t reproduce that shit?

Unbelievable. I told them precisely what to check (solid colors on the screen, straight lines like the bars that show up in widescreen mode, etc.) - and how I illustrated it to the guy who came to my house - and they’re going to ensure the tech who’s working on the set has checked all that. I also mentioned that we used to live in the same area as the TV repair shop and if the North Pole plays a factor in this thing, that’s going to be less of an issue in the same geographic region.

If they can’t reproduce it, I’m going down there to see with my own eyes that the problem isn’t there.

If it turns out it really isn’t there when it’s in the shop… well, it looks like I’m screwed. They will claim it’s “environmental” (sure it is

• the North Pole is environmental) and they can’t reproduce it, at which point I have to fight with the National Electronics Warranty company to get them to replace the tube, which, I’m told, rarely happens for environmental issues.

So I’d have to get a new TV, which I’m not anxious to do. Or try moving this TV into a different room, which really isn’t going to work. Or try changing things around in that same room to guess and see if I can figure out what’s going on.

If the guy calls me tomorrow, they’re sending the TV back to me next Tuesday. If he doesn’t, then they’re checking into it some more.

Let’s hope he doesn’t call me.