This article on Life After The Video Game Crash has to be the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Maybe even all week. I’m damn close to tears laughing in my cube.

It’s been a little while (hey, I’ve been busy!) so I figured I’d start this fine day out with a Traffic Asshole.

Today’s is less a “Traffic Asshole” than a “Parking Asshole.” This right here is why I hate people who own large trucks:

Here are a couple of pointers for those of you who somehow feel the need to buy gigantic trucks even though you don’t go off road and you don’t haul anything:

Don’t park in compact spaces. See the label on the space that says “COMPACT?” Your truck doesn’t qualify. Don’t try it, it’s not going to fit. Even if you squint, it’s not coming close. Go park in the larger spots. It will probably be less convenient, but that’s the price you pay for wasting our natural resources.

Parking on the line doesn’t mean you’re in the spot. If your tire’s riding the line, especially if it’s all the way on the line, you’re not in the spot. You need to be between the lines. Pretend those lines are walls. You can’t park in the wall, can you? Of course not. Don’t park in the line, either.

It’s okay to try again. If you get out of your behemoth and you see you’re not quite in the space, nobody cares if you get back in and correct yourself. In fact, I’d wager people would openly encourage you to resolve the situation. Back ‘er up and try again. There’s no shame in it.

If you follow these handy parking tips, I think the world in general would be a better place. Wars would cease and famine would end. I bet they’d find a cure for the common cold and cancer. All you have to do is try. For all our sakes, please try.

My original plan was to rent a U-Haul truck, move the small stuff myself, then hire some guys to come and load/unload the heavy stuff.

After calculating it out, it would only cost a couple hundred more bucks to get a full-service outfit to do the whole thing (minus packing).

So I called up and canceled my truck rental reservation and now the moving company will show up at 9:00a, truck and all, ready to go. I just need to be supervisory/moral support and the work will all be done for me. That’s exactly how I like it. Hopefully this will take the sucky lameness out of moving so I can focus on the positive portion of things. Plus, these guys are hooking me up with some boxes, so I can start the packing process right away. I like that.

I’ve contacted my apartment complex to get the paint color I need to repaint my walls to (we have a cobalt blue wall in the living room that Jenn and I painted up) and it turns out they’re just going to leave us some paint to use, so we just have to go get some primer and a couple of rollers. Good deal.

Finally, the escrow company mailed me a receipt for my earnest money check, so I know that’s all going according to plan.

October 2004 can not come quickly enough.

I’ve scheduled the home inspection for this coming Friday, March 12th. It’ll end up costing me $270 for that (I have a coupon for $35 off), but it’s money well spent. Greg says he’s seen great looking deals go south because of the results of an inspection, but you know, that’s why you get the inspection in the first place - to ensure there’s nothing wrong.

It’s a pretty new house (2001) so I don’t anticipate anything going wrong, but you never know.

Apparently these things take like three hours. Looks like I’ll be taking a half-day on Friday.

On another note, several folks have been asking for pictures of the new place and maybe some specs. What I’ll do is take some pictures during the inspection (hey, what else am I gonna do for three hours?) and then post them up here with some specs. I’d point you all to the RMLS listing for the house, but it’s been taken down.