I went to Safeway to stock up my fridge at work and get some lunch.

I only go to Safeway, at least on this side of town, once in a blue moon. How come every time I go there’s either construction in the parking lot or they’re remodeling the building?

Apparently, this time they’re putting in a Starbucks. Because there aren’t more Starbucks outlets around here than there are 7-11 stores.

While I was shopping, I realized there’s something they don’t sell that they should.

How come you can’t buy fried eggs?

I mean, in the name of convenience, they have cooked chickens, sliced cheese, and microwave breakfast sandwiches, but if I wanted to buy a fried egg, I’m SOL. They could come in round Pringle-style containers. You could buy them in three varieties - solid yolk, liquid yolk, or (for the health-conscious) no yolk. They could even have spin-off products: poached eggs, hard-boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, etc. All you have to do is put ‘em on a plate and nuke ‘em for a protein-filled snack.

I’ll have to think about this some more.

I learned something this morning when I opened my mini-fridge at work to get a beverage:

If you turn the fridge up past the 50% mark, Snapple “Element” beverages freeze solid.

I also learned, as a corollary to that lesson:

If you let Snapple “Element” beverages freeze solid, they will expand enough to seep out the top of the cap, whether you opened the bottle or not.

Welcome to my grape-covered world.

Interestingly, Sobe beverages do not freeze solid, though some crystals do form.

The fridge has since been turned back down to 50%.

Tonight I’m going to go to the mall and pick up my Ottawa Senators home jersey if they have one. I decided on that over, say, binoculars, because I think I’d get more use out of the jersey. Besides which, honestly, what am I going to do with binoculars? Maybe I’ll go into Software Etc. and preorder my copy of GTA: VC.

Speaking of buying things, I went out this weekend on a mission to find the original TV miniseries to The Bourne Identity on DVD. I guess I forgot (and remember now that I’ve looked on Amazon) that it won’t be released until August 27. I suppose that explains why I couldn’t find it anywhere.

Went to see Goldmember this weekend and had a blast with it. Really didn’t get the Dutch jokes, but thought it was, overall, probably the best Austin Powers movie. I don’t think it would have been as funny had I not seen the other two movies because a lot of the jokes built on stuff shown in the previous films. Still good, though. Loved the Ozzy cameo in there.

Jenn and I really need to have a garage sale. We have just way too much crap. Since we moved all of our movies and videos into bookcases, we’ve got a bunch of those wooden video racks and DVD racks to get rid of. Plus we sort of missed out on the whole “spring cleaning” thing, so we need to go through our stuff and I’m sure I’ll come up with many more items. Like the boxes to toys that I have out that I realize I’m never going to sell - I don’t need the cardboard boxes they came in. Much as I’d like to think I might make out like a bandit if I ever did sell them.

Hey, gang.

Due to lack of popular demand, I’ve opened up the paraesthesia Junk Store. Right now, I’m selling one - count ‘em - one t-shirt style. Hey, it’s my first foray into t-shirt design. Anyway, I’ve got this thing set up so I can now create new t-shirt styles and everyone who gives a rat’s ass can wear paraesthesia.

The existing shirt style is, shall we say, a little “less than exciting.” I’ll work on some new ones and see what I can put out there. Honestly, it’s mostly for myself - this is the best/only way I know to make up my own custom shirts and crap. But I figured, might as well open it up to the rest of the world too. You guys might want some, right?

I woke up this morning 10 minutes before my alarm went off because a guy in my dream shot me in the nuts with a silenced .22 semi-automatic pistol.

I really should probably stop reading spy novels.

Ahem.

Today, as many may know, is Sysadmin Appreciation Day.

And let me say that I have the coolest boss ever, because he got me a $50 gift certificate to ThinkGeek in honor of said day.

So I clicked over to my ThinkGeek Wish List and ordered myself up a SoundBug and a cool SQL t-shirt. I’m stoked.

I pulled out yet another nice, chilly beverage from the refrigerator under my desk this morning. I cannot stress the convenience I’ve found in such a thing. I really need to get some running water and a microwave in here.

I still haven’t decided what I should get with the money from the other fridge. I figure I’ve got about $80 to work with, so I could get lots of small things - DVDs, CDs, etc. - or I could get one big thing. I’m leaning towards one big thing. But what? Options include…

• Ottawa Senators home jersey
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (preorder) - I’d actually probably get this at Software Etc. at the mall because you can preorder and get a free strategy guide with it
• The big Alphonse Mucha book I’ve been looking at
• A glare screen for my television (the glare on our TV is awful)
• A hooker (okay, I was kidding about that one, but I had to make sure you were still paying attention)
• A Cost Plus World Market shopping spree (which would last about six seconds because I like all the expensive stuff in there)

I’m just not sure. I’m sort of an impulse shopper, so I don’t know what I want until I walk through the store and see it. I’m leaning towards the Senators jersey, though. You can never have enough hockey jerseys. Stylish and comfortable.

I think I will go this weekend to see the new Austin Powers movie. I’ve heard a lot of good things about it, so I’m hoping it’s as funny as it sounds. I crack up every time I see the preview where Austin is staring at Fred Savage’s mole. “MOLE! Moleymoleymoleymoleymoley….” It just never gets old.

I still haven’t seen Men In Black 2 yet. I heard it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips, so I guess I’ll wait for it to hit the Bagdad and then go see it for three bucks.

Jenn and I saw Phantom of the Opera last night and it was wonderful. Honestly, it was all I hoped it would be. The costumes were perfect, the sets were perfect, everything was great. Only two things I think were issues…

First, the way I imagined it was slightly different than how it played out on stage. Yeah, not an issue really, but sort of an interesting turn. Most of it was right, mainly just the end was different than how I expected it. Second, the lady who played Christine was just a tad sharp on everything she sang in the first half of the show. I was okay with it and decided to ignore it, but leave it to my mom to break me from my Suspension of Disbelief and remind me repeatedly about how sharp she was.

Overall, though, brilliance. I’d definitely see it again if it comes back. I’m starting to think about getting a Portland Opera subscription because there are lots of other shows I want to see as well. It’s expensive, though. I dunno.

Speaking of expensive, we ate dinner at this place downtown called “Veritable Quandary.” It was sort of… well, “preppy,” in a Pottery Barn sense. People wearing black shirts and tortoise-shell glasses. Waaaay too many wines on the wine list and even more people that thought they could actually tell the difference between them all. Very good food - Jenn and I both had the “Black Angus NY steak” - but slightly on the spendy side. It’s actually got a restaurant and a bar; the restaurant is in the back, the bar’s up front. The bar sounded like it had some tasty normal-people food, so we may have to go back and check that out.

I pulled a nice, cold drink out of my new birthday refrigerator this morning and it’s just right. It took about 24 hours for the fridge to get up to full speed, but now it’s ready to chill.

My boss/friend, Greg, just came over and told me he’s going to the coast for the day, taking some friends from New Mexico who haven’t been to the Oregon Coast yet.

I have a problem with the Oregon Coast - that it’s a coast and not a beach. What’s the difference? If you go to the beach, you expect sand-colored sand, nice blue water you can wade in, sun… you see where I’m going with this. Hawaii has beaches. California and Florida have beaches.

Oregon has a coast. You can’t wade, really, because if you spend too long in the water you’re going to get frostbite. You can’t sit on the sand for too long because the wind will sandblast your face and any other exposed body parts. You can’t wear glasses because it’s always misty there (and you know about the magnetic properties of water and glasses). The sand is a dingy brown-gray. The water is… dingy brown-gray.

I love beaches. I hate the Oregon Coast.

Man, I sure go off on little rants at the drop of a hat, don’t I? Here, I was expecting to write a nice review of my Phantom show, and then I get sidetracked by my hatred for the Oregon Coast. Welcome to my world. Now do you see how I could go out without combing my hair?